Social Reciprocity
Preface
Note: I had originally scheduled this post for later this week, but I decided to post it today while the topic is actually being discussed in some fashion on Twitter. My goal was, originally, to ask those who read my writings to decide if they would like to link to me or not and to let me know why. While I still would like that to be the overall concept of this post, as well as having those interested in having me link to their works send me a request to look over their content and let them know why/why not, I thought it might be a good idea to remind everyone of a few basic concepts that should govern how we view such actions (and yes, I despise such tools as FriendorFollow because they only serve to, subtly, reinforce our notion that reciprocity is a standard and not a choice).
Reciprocity
Ever since the introduction of the concept of “reciprocal link sharing” with bloggers, or “following/friending” others as it would be described with regards to social networking sites such as Twitter or Facebook, there has been underlying confusion as to what the process means or implies. Further confounding the issue is the inherent nature of people to want their work/profile/friendship to be reciprocated by those who submit such requests. There are some general guidelines one should keep in mind so as not to fall into the trap of feeling obliged to be on either side of such practices:
Blogs
- Do not assume that linking to a site will yield a reciprocal link.
- Submitting a request for being linked from a site is the best approach, where the site author/admin can look over your content and choose (and hopefully explain) why they will or will not link back.
Social Networks
- “Following” or “Friending” someone does not mean the person in question is obligated to do the same.
- Again, if curious why someone does not then asking them why is the best approach.
Pretty simple, right? Apparently not. People seem to think reciprocity is an understood rule and forgetting that each person chooses whether or not to accept such actions based on a number of reasons, such as:
- Content (especially an issue for blogs/bloggers).
- Personal perception/choice (for instance, I may consider your Tweets annoying, uninteresting, or may simply have no compelling reason to follow you).
- Privacy (one often overlooked, but I may or may not want someone I do not know personally viewing my Facebook profile for instance).
In short, it is my choice whether I follow/friend/link you or not. Generally I have very little reason not to, but I still reserve that right. If you choose to base whether you friend/follow/link someone due to their choice of reciprocating the action then, quite frankly, I take very little stock in your recommendations/friendship. It’s not that I do not care, it is simply that I know I cannot look at your links and know that you actually recommend someone else’s work (much less an issue with social networking, except those who simply friend anyone/everyone).
I completely agree with this! Remember, just because you put all sorts of blogs on your blogroll, the other person whom you linked may be limiting his/her blogroll to people who post concerning a specific profession. It’s rarely personal.
That’s one reason I separated my twitter accounts. One is for site updates only. One is for my general blah blah. If someone wants site updates via twitter but doesn’t want to hear how I did Twig’s hair this morning, I’m not insulted. We don’t all have time to read EVERYTHING.
On twitter, also, if you’re not following someone, you’re NOT READING their stuff (unless you follow through RSS). But with blogs, just because you’re not on my blogroll doesn’t mean I don’t READ – and a lot of the people who comment on my blog don’t have it on their blogroll. Linking is not the same as reading.
Ultimately though – if you write quality work, it will get read. If you write crap, nobody will read it. Links on other people’s sites, follows, etc won’t change that.
.-= zelmaru´s last blog ..Upranking Your Spells (So You Don’t Look Like a Moron) =-.
“If you choose to base whether you friend/follow/link someone due to their choice of reciprocating the action then, quite frankly, I take very little stock in your recommendations/friendship”
This.
.-= Poneria´s last blog ..Shaman Healing Blows My Mind =-.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Which is quite amazing when you consider that I’m usually better than you at everything.
In all seriousness, though, I completely agree. If someone wants me to link/follow/friend/whatever them, then all they need is content I’m interested in, or that I feel my readers would be interested in. At no point do I expect anyone, for any reason, to return the favor. Hell, even calling it a favor is too much, that implies an expectation of reciprocation.
If I don’t feel I’m being linked to enough, then I guess I better work on my writing, make my work something WORTH linking to. If someone’s not following me on Twitter… it’s freaking TWITTER! Seriously, I have a hard time believing those that do follow me give half a crap about most of the nonsense I spout on there.
And that’s the thing about Twitter. There’s a LOT of information passing through there. I’m following over 100 people, many of which don’t return the follow, nor would I expect them to. If I return-followed many of MY followers, that’s just too bloody much to keep up with. But, if someone has something interesting to say, I’m more than happy to check them out.
.-= Samodean´s last blog ..Final Fantasy XIII Final Thoughts =-.
I completely agree. There are people I ‘follow’ but don’t actively read. Some people I read through twitter out of personal interest, others I’m following as a ‘blogger community thing’ because I know they are read by other bloggers and influence the posts of other bloggers. Yet more I follow because of a shaman connection
I’m always going through a process of weeding and tending to my public blog roll. There are a couple of people I won’t link to because I often find their opinions outright offensive, but I still read privately because they are somewhat influential and I like to know the context of current blogosphere blogstorms.
.-= pewter´s last blog ..Shared Topic: When the raid is cancelled I… =-.
@Sam
You’re only better than me at the things I let you be better than me at, sir! :p
@Everyone
I still haven’t seen anyone comment on why they even follow me… come on people, I like the occasional ego boost!
In all seriousness, I am in the process of going through my Feed Reader and updating links when I’m done. While I’m doing so if anyone would like to request that I look over their content and decide whether to link to them or not, now is the time!