Descriptors: Socially Inept, Inadequate, Immature, or “Simply Unintelligent.”

Classification: “Dumbass.”

Technical Definition: (1) One who not only lacks the social skills to interact with others in any meaningful manner but also cannot understand why they are perceived as inferior. (2) One who, through lack of socialization or out of spite of social norms, causes grief to the generally competent people with which they interact.

Guidelines for Interaction:

• Accept full responsibility for being superior to the dumbass by professing how much better the dumbass is than everyone else.
• Compensate for being “a subpar player” compared to the dumbass by picking up the dumbass’ responsibilities in the group, thereby supplying positive reinforcement to the dumbass in question for being a dumbass.
• Laugh with the dumbass at every conceivable chance, including the dumbass’ obviously superior social skills and performance.
• Consistently provide positive reinforcement of the dumbass’ choices by showing damage/healing meters in every encounter, praise the gear and talent choices made, and recommend the dumbass to every person encountered in-game.

Unfortunately little is known about the origin of the dumbass, or why they thrive so much in virtual worlds. Science has attempted to provide social and psychological profiles in order to better understand and appreciate the dumbass subculture, and yet best guesses indicate nothing more than what is presented here.

Recognizing the “Dumbass” in World of Warcraft:

Thankfully this is far easier than many scientists believe. Typical behavior will include excessive use of “leet-speak” or other variations of incomprehensible grammar, damage/healing levels comparable to those attained by other players at a disparity of ten levels lower, attempts to enter content designed for level eighty players in epic gear while wearing combinations of easily attained “greens and blues” (as described by peers), and a complete lack of knowledge (sometimes to the level of barely understanding basic use of a mouse and keyboard).

When contact is established one must be wary, as the dumbass will typically not reveal its true nature until a critical moment, thus providing almost insurmountable levels of frustration to unprepared players that can result in severe emotional and psychological trauma, vehement language, rage, diarrhea, schizophrenia, alcoholism, depression, legal and illegal substance abuse, and possibly even self mutilation.

Now back to the exciting news of new druid forms!